What I Learned From my 4 Year Old

Let’s jump right in on how my interactions with my 4 year old daughter, Kendall, have opened my eyes to better understanding God’s love.

Saying no is for your protection

When Kendall ask me for something my answer is either yes, no, or not right now. She is still young and doesn’t fully understand why I may say no to her having cookies for breakfast or her not holding my hand while walking through a parking lot. But as her mother my job is to protect her, and I take this job very seriously. So when I do say no she then starts bargaining with me by saying things like ” Can I have just a little?” Other times she jumps to the extreme and says” you aren’t my friend anymore.” Which might be the harshest thing a 4 year old can say to you. My no is not to punish, upset, or sadden her. My answer is for her protection. I can see something she can’t in the moment. I can see the bigger picture. This is the same with God. I can’t even count how many times God has told me no or not right now and my first response is to try to bargain with God or even jumping to the extreme by feeling like God must not love me. I have to remember that God can see the bigger picture. God can foresee the possible danger and consequences I can’t in the moment. Just as I protect Kendall, God is protecting me.

Lesson Learned: God’s no, yes, or not right now is for my protection and out of his love for me.

Remembering to say thank you

Kendall is a very affectionate child, well when she wants to be. She will randomly run up to me and give me a big hug and say thank you for being the best mom. Talk about melting my heart. Hearing her say I’m the best mom can turn my whole day around. And the best part of her saying this to me is that I haven’t done anything special at the moment that would trigger her to say that. That is what God wants for us. For us to acknowledge him for just being him, not just when he answers a prayer the way we want him to. Its so easy to get caught up in day to day life, but always make time to say thank you for being God and leading my life. We serve a God who loves to her our praises. He wants to know that we are thankful for all he does for us on the daily.

Lesson Learned: Sometimes all we need to say is thank you.

Quality time is important

Everyday I spend quality one on one time with Kendall. Its something important to both of us. I’ve made a habit of this that now she even request this time. Its not something she pushes off or is too busy playing with her toys or tablet to do. During this quality time, like with any relationship, I have learned what she likes, dislikes, we talk about school and her friends. Due to this quality time me and Kendall have such a close bond. And then one day it hit me, God wants this same uninterrupted time with me. I live a very busy life like most people I know. Most days I’m just plain tired after fighting traffic, work, and taking care of Kendall. Doing anything that will require me to have less sleep is the last thing on my mind. This really should not be my attitude when it comes to spending time with God. So I tried to have my quality time with God while I’m driving. Which isn’t always the best because some days I’m blowing my horn at a driver in the middle of prayer. While this may work for some this was not the best for me. I felt God deserved my undivided attention and that’s hard to do while driving. So recently I’ve been walking up 15/20 minutes earlier to have time with God. Its a real struggle to wake up, but so worth it. God craves to spend time with us and after all that he has done for us spending uninterrupted time with him daily is the least we can do.

Lesson Learned: Spending quality time with God allows us to build an unbreakable bond.

Sometimes we have to be forced to nap

There is nothing like a cranky child that will not lay down for a nap, I know all my mothers understand this. You try to do anything to get your child to lay down and take a nap. I tell Kendall all the time you will feel better once you have taken a nap, because you need rest. Kendall sometimes sees taking a nap as punishment because she wants to continue to play or watch TV. I have to explain to her that naps are important and not a punishment. God is the same way with us. As our father he knows that sometimes we just need some rest so we can get back up and be our best. As much as we might fight the time of rest, we have to know God knows what’s best for us. And just like with Kendall after a period of rest I’m better than I was before.

Lesson Learned: God telling you to rest is necessary for you to be your best.

You are God’s child and he wants the absolute best for you. Even when we don’t understand where we are in life or the path we are taking, just know God can see the bigger the picture and he would never lead you astray. Always remember that God loves you and everything is working for your good.

I have to do WHAT?!

Has God ever told you that you needed to do something and it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to do? Well this has been a recurring theme in my life the last year.

Recently I was involved in a situation where I was extremely hurt by someone that I care about. With out putting all their business on the internet here is the short  version of the situation. They started dating someone that was connected mutually to us. The issue wasn’t that they were dating, but who. When I found out I was completely shocked and hurt.

These feelings took me back to several years ago when me and this person was dating. As I was sitting in my bed replaying our time together it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had never truly forgiven this person or forgiven myself for the things done in this relationship. I told myself so many times that I had forgiven them and myself. I said those words but I did not mean them. When you truly forgive someone you may not forget what was done but you don’t let the thought of it cause you to react. I reacted every time I thought about the past.  How could I move forward and I had not forgiven and let go of the past.

God placed in my spirit to forgive them in that moment. Forgive them and move forward. But I couldn’t, I was hurt. God why do I have to forgive someone who hasn’t even asked for my forgiveness or even thinks they were wrong? At this moment I wanted to let the person know all they did in the past 5 years that hurt me.(Honest moment: That is exactly what I did. God is still working on me lol.)  I felt they owed me for the pain they caused.

After releasing my feelings in that moment I felt horrible. I wanted to take back most of what I said to them over the last 24 hours. But I couldn’t. So here I am asking them to forgive me for what I had done to hurt them but I couldn’t forgive them? How does that work?

I decided that it was time to truly forgive. I was tired of going through the same cycle with my ex. I was tired of going around the mountain and not passing this forgiveness test. I decided in that moment that I had to truly forgive. I could not see myself going through all I had just experienced for the rest of my life since we share a child together.

Forgiving someone who you interact with on the regular basis is one of the most difficult things I’ve done. In all honesty I normally just cut people off when I’m hurt by them and then it becomes out of sight out of mind. But in this situation I have to practice that forgiveness is a choice and every time we interact I remind myself of that choice. I wouldn’t want God to not forgive me for the wrong I’ve done. So as a Christian who is desiring to be more like Christ I had to realize forgiving him was actually blessing me.

True forgiveness is something new for me as I am still a work in progress, but I am very grateful for the growth.

If you are working on forgiveness as well, here are some bible verses to reference: Colossians 3:13, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:9-15, Mark 11:25, and Romans 12:18

God, are you sure?

We were we all created on purpose for a purpose.

Spring 2016 I started a journey of finding my purpose. At the time, I was a 25 year old single mom who was focusing way too hard on finding a mate. I was searching everywhere, literally everywhere, to find the answer to where was my mate. This search started me on my journey of everything love. A journey I had no idea I was about to embark on because I was just trying to find a man.

Like every other millennial my search started with Google, because Google knows everything. I was searching for something or someone to relate to. Something to help me feel like I wasn’t alone in my desire to be in a God-centered relationship. I just knew that I couldn’t be the only 25 year old who was tired of being single. Well, Google failed me I could not find one person that I could connect too. It was plenty of married women talking about their single season, but I was looking for someone who was living the single life. So as I sat with God in my quiet time it hit me, I should just start my own blog. And that is where the vision came from for The King’s Daughter was born.

I was so fired up to start something that I knew was my passion. I knew this was my purpose.

Then life happened.

This past year has taken me right back to where I started Spring 2016. Except this time I knew my purpose, and I had not done anything to bring it to life. I have pushed off and avoided starting this blog for the past 18 months. God has convicted me so many times about not moving forward with something he told me to do and I provided him every excuse in the book. I honestly started to convince myself that I was not called to start a blog. What would I even talk about? Would people even read it? I started asking God is he sure this is what he wanted me to do. I was asking God to show me why I should start a blog, when in all actuality I should have been jumping at the opportunity to be used by God.

So here we are 18 months later and I am finally being obedient. Finally stepping out on faith. Moral of this post: God has the how, he just needs you to do.  Just do what God has told (aka graced) you to do. If you don’t, you will always end up right back where you started and still having to do the thing God has called you to do.

I am so excited that you are here and I hope you continue to join me as I share what God has placed on my heart. I pray that God uses me and this blog for his glory and every person who comes to this page is blessed.

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