I had a panic attack last week for the first time in MONTHS.

It came out of absolutely nowhere, and hit me devastatingly hard. And I felt completely incapable of getting it under control.

It was horrible.
But what was even more horrible was the negative self-talk I wrestled with when it was over.

I immediately felt ashamed. Defeated. Discouraged. Angry. Disappointed. Disgusted that I let my mind wander to that dark place yet again.

And I laid on my bed for what felt like hours, completely paralyzed in my fear that I was a failure.

Why am I telling you this?
Because all those negative feelings that washed over me? They were LIES. Lies placed there by the same one who whispered the lies that stirred up the panic in the first place.
And for a moment, I believed them.

But there’s the catch – for a moment.

A bad moment doesn’t wash away all my progress.
A minute of panic doesn’t erase all the months of peace.
A lie from Satan doesn’t cancel out God’s truth.

It just doesn’t.

A bad day doesn’t mean anything except that I’m an imperfect human who still desperately needs a Savior.

I am still strong.

I am still capable.

I am still growing. Setbacks and all.

It’s okay that I had a bad day, because my God is good, and he’s bigger than it all.

I don’t have to be perfect to be moving forward.
His power is still within me.
His promises still hold true.
His victory is still mine, no matter what.

And knowing and believing THAT is where true chains are broken.

So, yeah, I lost that battle. But I’m in a war that my Father’s already won. And that’s all that matters.

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