I’ve been off my anxiety medication for a year now.
And saying that out loud is absolutely overwhelming.

So much life has happened these last 12 months.
A move to a new house.
Holiday chaos.
A freaking pandemic.
Job changes.
Financial strife.
Creating a new life inside of me.

And somehow, my mental health has only improved through it all.
Praise. To. God.

NOW. Do I still have bad days? Yep.
Do I still break down in tears sometimes? Yep.
Do circumstances still threaten to swallow me? 1000% yes.

I have to suit up for battle every single day.
I have to be intentional with my time.
I have to eat well.
I have to take my vitamins.
I have to stay hydrated.
I have to prioritize self care.
I have to make sure I’m getting enough sleep.
I have to move my body.
And most importantly, I have to surrender control daily to The God who made this healing possible.

He has taught me so much about the importance of these life changes I’ve made. And I’m never ever going to stop pursuing this path of wellness, because it’s literally changed my life.

But did any of these things ultimately heal me? NOPE.
Only my good, good God could do that. To Him be ALL the glory.

And the harsh reality that I’m also not blind to is this – someday in the future, whether that be a few months from now or a few years, I might have to get back on the meds.
Do I want to? Absolutely not.
Am I going to do everything in my power to not have to? Definitely.

But there’s the kicker right there… in my power. And my anxiety journey? It’s not in my control. It’s all in God’s hands.

So I will continue on this path of wellness. I will choose each day to take care of myself the best way I know how. And I will pray bold prayers that God will make a way from me ever having to swallow one of those little white pills again.

But even if He doesn’t answer that prayer the way I hope He will,
He is still good.
He is still faithful.
He is still my protector and provider.
He is still writing my story perfectly and His promises still hold true.

His victory will forever be mine, no matter what my future seasons hold.
And for that alone, I will praise Him.

Thank you, God, for all the health and healing you’ve brought me this past year. And thank you for your provision over my future, whatever that may look like.

You are good.

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