We took our girl to go school shopping last week, and never have I ever felt so many emotions in such a short period of time.

The joy of walking into those doors was undeniable. She could hardly contain her excitement as she pranced over to the shoe section to pick out the perfect pair to wear on her first day back. But quickly did the frustration come as her little sister couldn’t keep her hands out of everything.

Next was the backpack and lunchbox aisle. Of course she was immediately drawn to the most expensive option…and of course she instantly melted down when I substituted three different options instead.

Then came the school supplies aisle, which obviously had to be overly crowded and completely picked over. GREAT. (Surely I’m not the only mom to get extremely stressed out in this situation, right?)

And for the love all things holy, where the heck are the white glue sticks?!

But then the number two pencils found their way into the cart. And my mama heart just couldn’t process it. How in the world is my baby big enough to use number two pencils? Doesn’t she only need crayons like last year?

Finally we swing around to the clothes section, and as I’m casually picking out her uniforms, it hit me. Is she really in this size already? These look huge! There’s no way these are actually going to fit her…are they?

But the fuzzy feelings quickly slipped away again as we approached the water bottle aisle and the irritation couldn’t help but rise up again. I could feel the patience quickly leaving me as she stood there examining every single option as if the quality of her school year solely depended on her choosing the right one.

I mean, honestly, kid. JUST PICK ONE!

But then we get home. And as I’m cutting off tags and arranging everything into the cute heart covered backpack that will accompany her to school, I couldn’t help but fight back a few tears.

How did we get here so quickly?

Where did the summer go?

Where did my little girl go?

Somehow getting her ready for this school year feels like I’m dropping her off at college. It just doesn’t seem fair how fast we got here.

And this is why I’m so tired.

Not because I don’t get enough sleep. (Even though I don’t.)

Not because I survive off too many cups of coffee. (Even though I do.)

Not because there’s so much to do and not near enough time to do it all. (Even though that’s definitely true.)

But because the emotions I sift through on a daily basis absolutely exhaust me. The back and forth feelings of motherhood drain me to my core.

But you know what? I think God did that on purpose. There’s just something in a mama that can’t help but feel so deeply.

And you know what else? I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank you, Jesus, for the precious gift of raising little girls…and for every single emotion that comes with it.

---