Last night was a you-know-what show.

Some days, I feel like this season of motherhood is literally going to be the death of me.

The amount of love I have for these little humans is absolutely immeasurable, but the patience level I have at this point is nearly zero.

And yesterday? My tank was empty before I even opened my eyes in the morning. I was in complete survival mode all day. So knee-deep in survival mode that I honestly don’t know that I could even call it survival mode.

It felt more like failure mode.
Losing my temper mode.
Anything but thriving mode.

So by the time dinner was done and over with, so was I. I just didn’t have anything more left in me to give.

And eventually, in the thick of the normal back-and-forth of bedtime routine…

I snapped.
And it absolutely broke me.

You know how they say never to let your own storm get your kids wet? Well, I let my sweet girl get completely soaked. And it wasn’t fair at all.

Yet, when I came out of her sister’s room after tucking her in, there she stood with her big brown eyes, apologizing for not listening before.

And the tears couldn’t help but immediately fall, because I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve a daughter like her.

Why oh why do I so easily get angry at this gentle, caring, wear-her-heart-on-her-sleeve girl who has more kindness in her soul than anyone I know?

Please, Lord, let her remember more from her childhood than just mama losing her cool.

And please let her always know deep in her heart that mama loves her with all of hers…

No matter what.

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