I’m slowly learning how to just be.

Not necessarily in regards to freeing up my schedule, but rather in freeing up my mind.

I don’t know why I so easily do this, but every single year during the holidays, I put so much dang pressure on myself to make the season magical for my kids.

To put up all the decorations.
To make all the goodies.
To sing all the songs.
To take all the pictures.
To do all the things.

And not only that, but I wish, hope, and pray for each moment to be picture-perfect. And when it’s not, I immediately blame myself for all that went “wrong.” I find myself in a downward spiral, grasping for a good way out.
It’s exhausting.
It’s defeating.
And if I’m being honest, it’s so unnecessary.

Because deep down I know that making the holidays magical for my kids has nothing to do with what I’m doing and everything to do with who I’m being.

I don’t want to be so focused on the disappointments that I miss the goodness of the moments right in front of me.

Because let’s face it, life isn’t a Hallmark movie. The kids aren’t always in a good mood and the pictures aren’t always Instagram-worthy and sometimes, ya know, we lose track of time and burn the banana bread.
And you know what? IT’S OKAY.
That isn’t what it’s about anyway.

And that isn’t what our kids care about, either.
They don’t care if the ornaments are perfectly spaced apart or if the frosting is homemade.
They don’t care if we do everything the same way we did it last year.

They don’t want perfection out of us; they just want US. And I don’t want my girls to look back on their childhood and remember how stressed out I was; I want them to look back and remember how invested I was.

So this holiday season, I’m intentionally choosing to just let go. To be present. To embrace the chaos surrounding me and see it as good.
Because before I know it, I will have slow, peaceful Christmases where the tree looks perfect and the house is quiet and the tablecloth isn’t covered in stains. And I know I will deeply miss every single second of the craziness that is my current reality.

And joy? Real joy? It’s not dependent on anything surrounding us. It’s a choice.

A choice of laying down control.
A choice of throwing expectations out the window.
A choice of inviting Jesus in and accepting His perfect peace.

A choice of remembering that just because our circumstances may be chaotic, our minds don’t have to be.

Let’s give ourselves permission to choose presence over perfection this Christmas. Perfect is so overrated anyways.

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