I’m not breastfeeding my baby.

I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing.

And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions but being satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do.

A similar situation also happened with my first – she didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew it, my supply was gone and there was nothing left to do but give her formula.

And it broke me.
And it’s breaking me again because I so desperately wanted it to be different this time.

It’s hard.
It’s hard to see your original plan fall through the cracks.
It’s hard to feel like you’re failing your baby.
It’s hard to feel like your body is failing you.

And it’s perfectly okay to feel all those feelings.
It’s okay to mourn the loss of the picture you had in your head.
But please, don’t let this define you as a mom.

Those thoughts of defeat? They’re just lies from the enemy.

Because the truth of the matter is, my worth as a mother is not contingent on how I’m feeding my baby.
It’s just not.

And yours isn’t either, mama.
Please don’t let Satan, society, or anyone else tell you differently.

My sweet baby girl is happy, healthy, and absolutely thriving.
Both her body and our bond are growing.
And that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

There are so many reasons why this, too, may be part of your story. And whatever your reason is, it’s a good enough one.

Hang on tight, mama. You’re doing a great job.

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