Lessons: From Year 27

As my last day as a 27 year old *insert tears* I felt inspired to write about what I learned this year. 27 was one of the most eventful years of my life. With me celebrating year 27 in Miami what else did I expect?!?

27 provided me lots of ups and downs but it was a turning point year in my life, so I’m grateful for every lesson. So here are 27 lessons I learned this year.

1. Walking away is hard but staying will hurt you even more

2. Moving forward requires movement

3. Change is uncomfortable but necessary

4. God’s love is enough

5. Some stress is self inflicted

6. Wise counsel is needed

7. Age is nothing but a number and has no effect on maturity levels

8. Counseling is a necessary part of your wellness

9. Character is developed in difficult situations

10. It’s okay to love people from a distance

11. Prayer is not equivalent to abracadabra. God is not a genie.

12. Things happen for me not to me

13. Choosing happiness daily is important

14. Some people will never want to see you win or do better than them

15. Friend is an earned title

16. You have something to say, so speak up

17. Holding on hurts more than letting go

18. You can truly be happy to see your ex’s happy and thriving

19. Buying a house is exhausting but sooo rewarding

20. Don’t allow other people insecurities and fears to hold you back

21. Showing grace to others means allowing 1 car over in front of you. Even though they waited until the last minute to get over lol.

22. God’s opinion of me is the only one that matters. I seek to please only Him.

23. When you reach new levels the enemy tries to up his strategies. But like that State Farm commercial I tell him “you gotta be quicker than that”

24. Do what makes you happy.

25. God has me hidden for a reason. My worth is priceless and he is not just going to let anybody get close to his most precious gift.

26. Drink your water.

27. Get a wellness routine. Massages, facials, and pedicures are a necessity for your mental health.

3 People Everyone Needs In Their Tribe

” I don’t hang with girls because its too much drama.”

” I would rather be alone.”

” I really don’t like people.”

“Jesus is the only friend I need.”

How many times have you heard a girl say these or even you said them?

Whether we want to admit it or not we all have a desire to be connected with people no matter what people say. God created us to be relational, to be connected to others.  His word tells us to live and thrive in communities. Like the old proverb says ” It takes a village to raise a child” The same is true when it comes to your spiritual
journey.

We all start off as babies when we are born again. Just like a baby we need
spiritual parents to guide us and help us grow. We also have family and friends
surrounding us and as we mature to different stages our needs change and so do the roles of our village. But no matter what you need a village surrounding you
from birth one.

Let’s take a look at some important people who need to be in your village and
what the word says.

1. Mentor
It is very common to hear people have a mentor when it comes to their careers, so why not have one for your spiritual journey. Someone who is mature in their spiritual journey and that can share wisdom and knowledge. Having a mentor is important in every area  of life. The Bible tells us if we ask for wisdom we shall will receive it. God sometimes uses people to provide the wisdom we need, like an mentor. A mentor can be a part of the wise council you consult before making decisions or someone who can help hold you accountable. When seeking a mentor ask God to reveal to you who would be a good mentor for you. You want the mentor, just like with an mentor for your career, to be someone who is in a place you desire to be. A relationship with a mentor will be very beneficial and can help provide you wisdom as you continue your spiritual journey.

2. Mentee
Once you have a certain level on your spiritual journey it is important to help those who are starting on their spiritual journey. You can share the wisdom you have gained and help empower someone else who is living for Christ. Having a mentee is a way to give back to the body of Christ and serve God. This relationship does not just have to be one on one but could be you serving in the high school students or young adult ministry. We all have a story to share that can bless someone else.

3. Accountability Partners
We all need people to hold us accountable as we live for God. Accountability partners are people who celebrate victories with us and will also call you out when you are not doing what you are suppose to. My accountability partner is someone I see as a sister and this relationship has brought us closer together. She was one of the main people who encouraged me to start The King’s Daughter,which I am so grateful for. No matter what stage of life we are in we need accountability partners.

Godly relationships are very important in your walk with God. The people you are connected to can either help or hinder your relationship with God. Before getting into any of these relationships I suggest asking God for discernment to ensure you are connecting yourself to someone who knows, loves, and is living for Christ. See if their life is producing fruits of the spirit, this is how you can tell if they are truly spending time with God. God has a purpose connected to your life and it is important to connect to the right people so you can continue to grow.

If you are looking for a community I️ encourage you to meet other people in your church or find an online community like The King’s Daughter Facebook page.

Bible verses to reference: Proverbs 27:17, Psalm 133:1, 1 Peter 3:8, Matthew 18:20, Romans 12:16

I have to do WHAT?!

Has God ever told you that you needed to do something and it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to do? Well this has been a recurring theme in my life the last year.

Recently I was involved in a situation where I was extremely hurt by someone that I care about. With out putting all their business on the internet here is the short  version of the situation. They started dating someone that was connected mutually to us. The issue wasn’t that they were dating, but who. When I found out I was completely shocked and hurt.

These feelings took me back to several years ago when me and this person was dating. As I was sitting in my bed replaying our time together it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had never truly forgiven this person or forgiven myself for the things done in this relationship. I told myself so many times that I had forgiven them and myself. I said those words but I did not mean them. When you truly forgive someone you may not forget what was done but you don’t let the thought of it cause you to react. I reacted every time I thought about the past.  How could I move forward and I had not forgiven and let go of the past.

God placed in my spirit to forgive them in that moment. Forgive them and move forward. But I couldn’t, I was hurt. God why do I have to forgive someone who hasn’t even asked for my forgiveness or even thinks they were wrong? At this moment I wanted to let the person know all they did in the past 5 years that hurt me.(Honest moment: That is exactly what I did. God is still working on me lol.)  I felt they owed me for the pain they caused.

After releasing my feelings in that moment I felt horrible. I wanted to take back most of what I said to them over the last 24 hours. But I couldn’t. So here I am asking them to forgive me for what I had done to hurt them but I couldn’t forgive them? How does that work?

I decided that it was time to truly forgive. I was tired of going through the same cycle with my ex. I was tired of going around the mountain and not passing this forgiveness test. I decided in that moment that I had to truly forgive. I could not see myself going through all I had just experienced for the rest of my life since we share a child together.

Forgiving someone who you interact with on the regular basis is one of the most difficult things I’ve done. In all honesty I normally just cut people off when I’m hurt by them and then it becomes out of sight out of mind. But in this situation I have to practice that forgiveness is a choice and every time we interact I remind myself of that choice. I wouldn’t want God to not forgive me for the wrong I’ve done. So as a Christian who is desiring to be more like Christ I had to realize forgiving him was actually blessing me.

True forgiveness is something new for me as I am still a work in progress, but I am very grateful for the growth.

If you are working on forgiveness as well, here are some bible verses to reference: Colossians 3:13, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:9-15, Mark 11:25, and Romans 12:18