I have to do WHAT?!

Has God ever told you that you needed to do something and it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to do? Well this has been a recurring theme in my life the last year.

Recently I was involved in a situation where I was extremely hurt by someone that I care about. With out putting all their business on the internet here is the short  version of the situation. They started dating someone that was connected mutually to us. The issue wasn’t that they were dating, but who. When I found out I was completely shocked and hurt.

These feelings took me back to several years ago when me and this person was dating. As I was sitting in my bed replaying our time together it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had never truly forgiven this person or forgiven myself for the things done in this relationship. I told myself so many times that I had forgiven them and myself. I said those words but I did not mean them. When you truly forgive someone you may not forget what was done but you don’t let the thought of it cause you to react. I reacted every time I thought about the past.  How could I move forward and I had not forgiven and let go of the past.

God placed in my spirit to forgive them in that moment. Forgive them and move forward. But I couldn’t, I was hurt. God why do I have to forgive someone who hasn’t even asked for my forgiveness or even thinks they were wrong? At this moment I wanted to let the person know all they did in the past 5 years that hurt me.(Honest moment: That is exactly what I did. God is still working on me lol.)  I felt they owed me for the pain they caused.

After releasing my feelings in that moment I felt horrible. I wanted to take back most of what I said to them over the last 24 hours. But I couldn’t. So here I am asking them to forgive me for what I had done to hurt them but I couldn’t forgive them? How does that work?

I decided that it was time to truly forgive. I was tired of going through the same cycle with my ex. I was tired of going around the mountain and not passing this forgiveness test. I decided in that moment that I had to truly forgive. I could not see myself going through all I had just experienced for the rest of my life since we share a child together.

Forgiving someone who you interact with on the regular basis is one of the most difficult things I’ve done. In all honesty I normally just cut people off when I’m hurt by them and then it becomes out of sight out of mind. But in this situation I have to practice that forgiveness is a choice and every time we interact I remind myself of that choice. I wouldn’t want God to not forgive me for the wrong I’ve done. So as a Christian who is desiring to be more like Christ I had to realize forgiving him was actually blessing me.

True forgiveness is something new for me as I am still a work in progress, but I am very grateful for the growth.

If you are working on forgiveness as well, here are some bible verses to reference: Colossians 3:13, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:9-15, Mark 11:25, and Romans 12:18

God, are you sure?

We were we all created on purpose for a purpose.

Spring 2016 I started a journey of finding my purpose. At the time, I was a 25 year old single mom who was focusing way too hard on finding a mate. I was searching everywhere, literally everywhere, to find the answer to where was my mate. This search started me on my journey of everything love. A journey I had no idea I was about to embark on because I was just trying to find a man.

Like every other millennial my search started with Google, because Google knows everything. I was searching for something or someone to relate to. Something to help me feel like I wasn’t alone in my desire to be in a God-centered relationship. I just knew that I couldn’t be the only 25 year old who was tired of being single. Well, Google failed me I could not find one person that I could connect too. It was plenty of married women talking about their single season, but I was looking for someone who was living the single life. So as I sat with God in my quiet time it hit me, I should just start my own blog. And that is where the vision came from for The King’s Daughter was born.

I was so fired up to start something that I knew was my passion. I knew this was my purpose.

Then life happened.

This past year has taken me right back to where I started Spring 2016. Except this time I knew my purpose, and I had not done anything to bring it to life. I have pushed off and avoided starting this blog for the past 18 months. God has convicted me so many times about not moving forward with something he told me to do and I provided him every excuse in the book. I honestly started to convince myself that I was not called to start a blog. What would I even talk about? Would people even read it? I started asking God is he sure this is what he wanted me to do. I was asking God to show me why I should start a blog, when in all actuality I should have been jumping at the opportunity to be used by God.

So here we are 18 months later and I am finally being obedient. Finally stepping out on faith. Moral of this post: God has the how, he just needs you to do.  Just do what God has told (aka graced) you to do. If you don’t, you will always end up right back where you started and still having to do the thing God has called you to do.

I am so excited that you are here and I hope you continue to join me as I share what God has placed on my heart. I pray that God uses me and this blog for his glory and every person who comes to this page is blessed.

You can connect with The King’s Daughter on Facebook and Instagram.