Single and Content, Is That a Thing?!

“Are you okay? I was wondering if you felt some type of way when she announced she was engaged?”

“Oh wow, most of your friends are married or in a committed relationships. That doesn’t make you feel any type of way?”

These are the questions I have gotten since one of my best friends got engaged. Which is so funny to me because when she announced her engagement my first thoughts are I’m ready to turn up at this bachelorette party and wedding.

Actually, when the first question was asked I didn’t think twice about it. But when I was asked a second time it hit me, people believe that because you desire to be married but are single you can’t be truly happy and not be negatively effected by someone else getting married.

To be honest at one point in my life I would have been effected. Begging God to show me when my husband would come or why couldn’t the man I was dating at the time see I was worthy to be committed too.

But see over the last year and half I have been healing. Learning to see that my worth isn’t attached to a man, relationship status, or a ring. That I had my worth before I entered this world.

Yes, we all had our worth before entering this world. We have been conditioned by this world to attach our worth to external things like relationships, status, and money. But the Bible tells us that our worth was given to us by God.

Once I learned that my WHOLE life changed. I was set free from the bondage I was in from seeking my worth from this world. The thing about depending on anything but God to define your worth is that things change. The definition of success to the world changes. But God is constant. God’s definition of worth doesn’t change and he has already declared you are worthy.

As we enter wedding season, I pray over my sisters who are struggling with knowing their worth or that struggle with their current relationship status. Know that God loves you and if God has given you a desire He will fulfill it in His time. Don’t grow weary but stay faithful and know everything is working for your good( even if it doesn’t look like it yet).

I love y’all!!

If you have any prayer request please reach out. I would love to pray with you!

Who is in Your Corner?

Is a Saturday night and I’m laying on my couch drinking my peppermint green tea watching Being Mary Jane for the millionth time.

“Text Him”

So this is what we are doing tonight. Nope I’m good.

Starts scrolling phone.

“One text to say hi won’t hurt.”

I knew that one text would lead me down a path that I was not willing to go down anymore. So instead I text one my closest friends. “Sis, talk to me before I text this man.”

She responded immediately! She saved me from reopening a door i knew I had no business opening.

Accountability is important! And I don’t mean that fluff accountability. I mean where she can call you out and keep you from making a decision you may later regret. She can be 100% honest and it’s no hurt feelings because you know she has your best interest at your heart.

As we grow through life we need real friends. Not those that are just fun to hang out with. But those that will call you out on your mess but also be a shoulder to cry on. Those that check in with you on that business you keep talking about launching. A friend that will spare your temporary feelings to see you win in the long term.

So as you journey to become the woman God has purposed you to be make sure you are asking Him to connect you with the right women for your journey. God cares about every detail of your life, including your friends.

Do you have a friend or two that you can call when you need moral support? If not I encourage you to pray to ask God to connect you with some like minded women.

You Deserve It Too!

Hey girl! I know, I know last week I missed our weekly date, but life as a single mom and full time employee took over last week. But I’m back!

The year before I started a year of no dating I had decided to stop having sex. I was coming out of situationship that at that point had made me feel like I was an object more than anything. I was completely drained. Plus God had been telling me for over a year and a half to stop, but I didn’t. I didn’t stop before mainly because I didn’t want to due to the weight I gave sex in my romantic relationships.

So I was newly single single and really seeking God. In the first year of no sex I didn’t struggle at all because I had no temptation. I wasn’t tested because it was me and God, nobody was checking for your girl. It’s not like I wasn’t trying to date, but God literally hid me. So I accepted it and started getting free and learning me!

Fast forward to September 2018. I slipped up. I allowed someone in my past back into my space, even though I didn’t have peace about it. And there I was laying there feeling full of shame, regret, and disgust in myself. How could I not have sex for over a year and fall back so easily.

I sulked over this situation for weeks, which was way too long. And one day Donnie McClurkin came on the radio. The song reminded me we may fall but we have to get back up. We may slip up but we have to get back on track. We allow ourselves to forgive and give grace to others but don’t extend it to ourselves. Sis, you deserve it too! We all make mistakes. We all have slip ups and we deserve to give ourselves the same forgiveness and grace we extend others. We aren’t perfect, but we serve a perfect God. And if God can forgive me when I confess my sins and ask for forgiveness, then I need to do it for myself too.

What thing do you need to forgive yourself for? Take some time this week and process the situation and forgive yourself. And if you haven’t talked to God about it and asked for forgiveness do that first!

Forgiveness and grace, you deserve it too!

Maybe He is the Only Person…

Hey girl hey!

So I have decided that Thursdays will be dedicated to sharing my 1 year journey of growing intimate with God. That sounds better than no dating right? Lol

These past few weeks I have been working hard on some purpose projects that will be launching soon! I knew if I did not want to be looking at the calendar counting each day like I was locked up I had to get busy. So I have been BUSY!

Well this week the enemy ALL the way tried it!

A few years ago your girl was engaged. Yes, somebody got down on one knee and asked me to marry them. Unfortunately the relationship did not work, but I gained so much from the situation. Honestly God used that relationship to draw me closer to Him.

On Monday I went to pick up my daughter from my mom’s house. My mom still talks to my ex(that’s a different story for a different day lol) and they were talking. I have no problem with it but I can hear him saying that he gets married next month. I already knew he was getting married thanks to social media and mutual friends but I didn’t know exactly when or if it happened already. In that moment the enemy does what he does best, and threw his first seed of negative thoughts. “ You know you care that he is getting married even though you say you don’t.” “What if he is the only person who wants to marry you?” “Girl, you could have been living the life in L.A. right now”

Y’all the enemy almost tripped me up in that moment. I started thinking “that could have been me” for like 2 seconds.

I had to stir myself up in that moment and know that what God has for me will never miss me!

I know I made the right decision in 2016 to end that relationship, no matter what the enemy was trying to throw my way.

It’s so important that as God takes us through different seasons we stay at His feet. Find different core scriptures that will help you when the enemy or your own self doubt kicks in. Know we serve an intentional God and he uses EVERYTHING for our good. Even though my relationship didn’t end up the way either of us thought it would, I know the lessons learned will help make me a better girlfriend and wife one day.

I would love to hear your favorite core scriptures that are helping you through your current season of life. Drop them in the comments below!

I Spent A Night In The Wild

Chilllleeee

Fun Fact about me, Sarah Jakes Roberts is definitely my best friend in my head. I truly adore her and her testimony is super inspiring!

So when she announced she was coming to Atlanta for her ‘Night in the Wild’ tour I KNEW I had to be in the building. Even on a Thursday night knowing she was going to have me laid out and I would have to get up and go to work the next day. But I knew it would be worth it! I knew that I had to be in that building because God was going to show up and show out. And He did just that!

So here is what I learned from my Night in the Wild with my bestie Sarah:

1.The work I’m doing now is bigger than me. The work I’m putting in now is for my future generations. I may not see the fruits of my labor but I have put the ball in motion for my future generations to eat the fruits.

2.Surrender. Just surrender. There is so much power in just surrendering everything to God. When we lay it all at his feet He can fill us up. Surrendering isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it!

3.I am soil! The seeds God gives me can flourish because I am soil. Sometimes we don’t understand the power God has given us. We have the power to cultivate a seed into a tree because God created us to be soil. He created us to be a vessel so His will can be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. I could literally stay on this word forever.

4.Pour into others. Sarah has a major testimony. She could have easily stayed to herself and not taken what she has learned in life to pour into so many women. I witnessed so many women’s lives changed because of her obedience and sharing her story, including my own. As we are filled up by God we should be pouring into others around us. We all have something to share. God didn’t let you go through that situation to stay quiet once you got to the other side! He wants you to use it for His glory.

5.And lastly I was created to thrive! I literally don’t have to write anything else after that. Just know we are created to thrive not just survive.

My Night in the Wild was one that changed the trajectory of my life. My mindset was changed, I surrendered every thing that was holding me back from fully embracing the call on my life and walking boldly in my purpose.

If my sis comes to your town I promise you don’t want to miss this encounter with God!

Here are some pictures from my night in the wild!

Journey With Me: 1 Year of No Dating

God, Why me?!?

This was my exact response as God told me to enter an intentional year of dating at the end of October. It was truly the last thing I wanted to hear. I was ready for my husband like 6 months ago.

As I got an attitude with God, I knew deep down that I wasn’t going to get out of this year. And the saying “Obedience is better than sacrifice” quickly entered my mind. So I said God, fine 1 year but after that I want a husband.

See, I just had an unintentional year of no dating. A year with zero, zip, nada prospects. Coming from someone who always stayed with at least 1 person to entertain this was hard. But during this year God showed me who I was to him, that my worth was in him and not man. God stripped me to help rebuild the best version of Alexandria. The version he imagined when he created me.

After a few moments, more like a day, I said God fine the next year is all about me and you. I sat down and created some goals for each month, because I needed my mind to be focused on improving me and not the fact I will spend the next year single yet again.

See when we shift our focus from just waiting on the promise to what can I do to improve myself in this time, it will go by quickly.

In these last almost 4 months I have joined a new church, started serving in church, building community with other like minded women, and spending more time with God. Truly seeking him and his heart.

I want to take you on this journey with me. I know everyday won’t be great, I have experienced some days where I had to shake the thoughts of loneliness and feeling like I was not enough. But what I know is that God will use this year of pruning to prepare me for every promise he has for me, which is much bigger than just getting married.

Have you ever been on a year of intentional no dating? I would love to hear your experience! Are you in this season now? Let’s talk about it!

True Life: I’m a Professional Quitter

My name is Alexandria Mann, and I am a professional quitter.

From a very young age I quit many activities I was involved in including dance, cheer, playing the violin, Girl Scouts. This habit of quitting when I was either over the excitement of something new or was not good after 1 day of doing it( this was the perfectionist in me) has followed me in adulthood. And this habit of quitting has done way more bad than good if I could be honest.

Today on my Facebook I posted this statement: When you are ready to quit ask yourself: Am I choosing to give up because it’s the right thing or because it seems like leaving would be easier?

Last year I really struggled with the idea of quitting my job. I have been with my company 5 years and in my current position I have not had the most pleasant experience. My job is very intense and can be fast paced which could lead to stress about meeting deadlines add on top of that a manager who is not the best and a understaffed department you can imagine my daily struggle. By June 2018 I had reached a place of what I thought was my breaking point and I was ready to throw up the deuces. I started looking for other jobs and weighing my options and one day in my quiet time God said didn’t you pray for this job? So you just going to quit because it’s not going how you thought it would?

So many times many of us quit something, whether a job, walking in purpose, or a relationship, at the first sign of it not going your way. I’m here to tell you (and myself) that giving up may not be the best answer.

I’m not saying it’s never right to quit, because sometimes it is. But what I am saying is are you making the decision to quit off emotions or have you consulted God? Emotions are fleeting and life changing decisions should not be made off emotions alone. The Word tells us that the plans the Lord has for us are good, so have you asked him is this part of the plan?

If you are like me and you are a professional quitter, today we will declare that we will be like our Heavenly Father and finish what we have started. And when we have the desire to quit we will turn to God first. The spirit of quitting is keeping some of us from experiencing the full promise if God in our life.

One of the goals of The King’s Daughter is to inspire you to live your best life. So today I encourage you to spend time with God and ask Him should you stay or quit. He will never steer you wrong.

I Apologize

I want to thank everyone who takes the time out to read my blogs. In 2017 I launched this blog with intentions of inspiring people through my many lessons learned. In the past year I have not been consistent with my blog and honestly not much else that God has instructed me to do. For that I apologize. Not only to you as my supporters, but to God for being disobedient.

Going into 2019 I asked God to give me a word that would be the tone of my year. He said intentionality and consistency. These are 2 things he most desires I commit to this year. Not only in my purpose, but my health, finances, and relationships. He reminded me that being a good steward meant being consistent and intentional. God has called all of us to be stewards over the resources and relationships He has given us.

2019 will be the year that I level up in every area because I will be intentional and consistent.

The King’s Daughter is my heart. I enjoy writing and pouring out what God has placed in my heart. I have some amazing things planned for 2019 and I can’t wait to share with you. Thank you for you all your support!

With Love,

Alex

The Key to Contentment

“God where is my husband?”

“God I’m tired of working so hard with no recognition at work.”

“God I’m tired of this season that I’m in.”

These are some of the things I have said to God in my quiet time over the last few months. As you can see from these statements, your girl was far from content. I was the complete opposite and I was becoming frustrated because it felt like God was just ignoring me. Like “Hey God, it’s me Alex!” And all I got back was crickets.

So one day I just asked God how can I be content. Like what is the secret to being content not just right now, but in every season. So as I sat quiet on my drive to work I was expecting a response and you know what I got…crickets again. Like God come on.

As my day and the week progressed I totally forgot I asked God that question. Until I sat in church on Saturday night. (Yes, on a Saturday night and if you are in Atlanta you should join us at The GO Downtown!)

That week we started a new sermon series and it was about being generous. As I sat in church my Pastor mentioned gratitude. And God said that’s the key. God is that you? Did I just hear God after what felt like weeks of no answer. I did! And he answered my prayer. The key to being content in any season is gratitude.

That seems simply enough. Be grateful for the life God has blessed with you. Cool, I got this.

Then I log onto Instagram and another college classmate has announced their engagement or pregnancy. In this moment I was not thinking about gratitude. All that consumed my mind was God I can’t wait for this moment. But I didn’t want that to be my thought anymore. Yes I want to be married one day but I am grateful for the life I have now. God has truly blessed me.

So it got me to thinking. How can I make this practical? How can I express gratitude. So here are the two things I have started doing to help me have a gratitude mindset.

1. Every morning I start to thank God for the basic things. Like thank you God for lights, waking me up, working limbs, running clean water, a house, a car, clothes, a job, and etc. This has truly helped me to be grateful for things I may normally take for granted.

2. Every night I write down one thing that happened that day that I am grateful for in my journal.

The biggest thing about changing your mindset is being intentional and knowing it won’t happen over night but through capturing every thought as the Bible says.

Are you content in your current season?

If so share some tips on how you achieved being content? Are you struggling like me? Well let’s be accountability partners. We can conquer discontentment! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

I was on a prayer walk today and I was asking God why I seem not to be able to cut off this ex. I was telling God I really love him even though we have cut romantic ties and are attempting to be friends. I know this friendship is a slippery slope and I am ready to be able to just let go of everything. The friendship is just a way got us to still have access to one another and not because we are actually friends, so it’s time to let that go.

Then God said to me “What does love have to do with it? Just because you love someone or something doesn’t mean it needs a place in your life.”

I literally stopped dead in my tracks. God was right! Well when isn’t he right? Lol But what did love have to do with it?

Nothing. I was using love as an excuse to not move. To stay in a place I no longer wanted to be but I told myself because of love I needed to stay here. When actuality all I need is Jesus and water lol.

It got me to thinking what and who else was still in my life just because of love? I was using love as an excuse and that is not love. Was I still in a friendship with people because of love? Or staying at my job? And the more I thought of different things I realized the things I felt that needed to be removed I no longer really loved, I use to love them but I out grew them.

As a society we almost feel like it’s crazy to out grow people and things that no longer meet the needs of our life. Everybody is screaming “these are my day ones.” And yes it’s nice to have long healthy relationships, but it’s okay if you have outgrown that friend from 3rd grade or high school. People change and it’s okay. It doesn’t mean that you don’t like them or value them, they just no longer have a place in your life.

Until we realize that it is okay to walk away from people and things that no longer fit in the life that God is leading us in, we will always experience unnecessary pain. The pain will come when God has to remove these things and people from our life, which is never fun.

So what are you holding on to because of love?